Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Luffa Tutus: A New Zealand Tramper’s Guide to Sydney Fashion


There it was! A palate of purple shower luffa fluff balls at just $2 each; perfect raw materials for tutu-making. Given the dearth of alternate tutu choices and my imminent need for a ballerina-themed hen’s night (bachelorette party) costume luffas would have to do.

There are roughly three cities in the whole country of New Zealand that feature multiple large shopping stores. Even here at The Warehouse which is the closest approximation to Wal-Mart or Target within a 6 hour drive, the cereal doesn’t take up an entire isle. In fact, there are only one or two brands of cornflakes. Also, it turns out people get by just fine in life without the option to choose from 7 different brands of white refined sugar. Unfortunately, at this moment I needed choices and fast. I was to board a flight to Sydney, Australia the next day and I needed a cheeky ballerina dress!

I went over to The Department Store (creatively named) and promptly wondered where all the departments were. As far as I could tell, there was one department which could have been named “The Frumpy Old Lady”. The only other clothing store in the area may as well have been named “Out Of Your Budget”, leading me right back to The Warehouse where I clamored into the dressing room in the farthest corner hoping that the stink from my hiking boots wouldn’t radiate to innocent nearby shoppers. I awkwardly tried on dresses and skirts judging their merits based on factors such as their ability to conceal my growing collection of traveler/tramper/mountain biker cuts and bruises. I seem to be off to a great start temporarily reentering into “normal” society to do “normal” things like, you know wearing a lufa tutu, and all. I settled on a skirt "shirt" combo in which the shirt was actually a swimsuit top on sale for $5. Um, do I have a swimsuit theme going on here?

After back-to-back wilderness excursions with cherry chapstick and a small comb (which I’d cut to save weight) as my only luxury cosmetic items, I busted out my horrific toenail painting skills where I succeeded in covering up pretty much my whole toes (not just the toenails, some of which have blackened). As the paint dried I assembled my tutu, cutting strands of the lufa and tying them to a ribbon. Then I reconfigured my carefully arranged pack to accommodate the new outfit. In case you ever need to know this, tutus smoosh nicely into a stuff sack and a first aid kit is a good place to store fragile items like hair ribbons as they can be cushioned between gauze pads and emergency blankets. Needless to say, this was not my usual packing routine.


Upon boarding the Virgin Australia flight from Queenstown, New Zealand to Sydney Australia, the differences between the neighboring nations began to emerge. The Aussie flight attendants’ bright red lipstick and trendy up-dos  were the first hints. To put New Zealand fashion into context, let me just say that they have 10 sheep per capita and I easily went two months without seeing a single stoplight. Even the internet and smartphone usage has limited reach due to large swaths of coverage holes and very expensive data plans with low data caps (even for home wifi)…PS, they still rent movies from the DVD store and some under 30’s use a paper phone book and look up concert times in the local paper (the hard copy one). Thus, outside influences including fashion are heavily diluted by the time they reach the land of the Kiwi. (Unless you count homegrown fashions such as gators worn with shorts…definitely a good look). By comparison, Sydney (though I can’t speak for the rest of Australia) seems to think it is New York. Most women don’t leave the house without makeup. They have fantastically bright colored flowy layered beach styles, inspired by the local climate and animals, terrible but trendy mom jeans and *ack!* high heals! Let’s just say most Sydney-siders have “a look” of one sort or another.



This is not to say that there aren’t fashionable people anywhere in New Zealand, and if they are, I imagine they live in the capitol city, Wellington. But as an aggregate cultural generalization, New Zealand doesn’t not have a Fashion Culture. Whereas in Sydney, wardrobe choices appear to be influenced by the environment, local and international media, fashion designers, peers, history, current events and social niches. Social niches (punk, gothic, preppy, hipster); this is another Oz-Kiwi difference. Australia has them. Even the junior high and high schoolers in New Zealand don’t seem to have pronounced social/stylistic niches. On a city bus in Christchurch (New Zealand’s second largest city), I ended up on the route where all the school kids got picked up. We must have passed three different high schools, one university, and two junior highs, both public and private. I got a good sampling of what urban kiwi teenagers wear. Among all of them, I found just one head of pink hair and another isolated nose ring incidence. Otherwise, there was absolutely nothing noticeable, notable, unique, or non-generic about their clothing and styles.

I’m not necessarily saying that Australians are better dressed than Kiwis. I’m saying that Sydney-siders get dressed within the context of many culturally influencing factors. Kiwis simply get dressed. And there is no web of historical fashion iterations that come into play when they do. Fashion culture (or lack thereof) doesn’t necessarily mean that the net result of wardrobe choice is better or worse. For example, San Francisco has a fashion culture driven in part by 25 year old post-IPO tech geek millionaire Silicon Valley folk who go to work barefoot and in shorts so ratty they might as well be wearing assless chaps. The underlying idea behind this wardrobe choice is that one must not be very competent if he or she has to dress well to garner respect at work. The work should be so good that one can wear anything and still be in high demand. This attitude intersects with Wacky San Francisco’s “I want to be different like everyone else” mindset which is fed by the many facets of the LGBTQ community combined with migrant international flare and the occasional high fashionista. The net result is often an unfortunate combination of passionately ambivalent hipsters wearing glasses frames with no glasses, an apathetically fervent owl watch (worn ironically, of course, because who uses watches these days), topped off with a giant bright yellow rotary phone iPhone attachment.

In any case, I’m going to keep rocking my jegging yogapant-skinny jeans. They’re light weight, quick dry, and can be worn as jeans or as a thermal base layer!


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